I invite you to explore this collection of carefully selected exercises designed to support your well-being—understood as a balance of positive emotions, deep relationships, a sense of purpose, engagement, and the achievement of your goals. They are designed to provide benefits in both the short and long term, enhancing your well-being and quality of life.
Although some of these practices may seem simple, their effectiveness has been confirmed by rigorous scientific research, with the exception of exercises related to professional well-being, which are currently undergoing further analysis. Based on the body of work in positive psychology, these tools offer a solid foundation for consciously building a fulfilling life.
PERSONAL WELL-BEING
“What went well?”
Set aside ten minutes before bed every evening for the next week. During this time, write down at least three things that went well for you that day, and note why they went well.
You can make these notes on a piece of paper, in a journal, or on a computer, but it’s important to have a physical record. They don’t have to be monumental achievements; even small events matter.
At first, writing about positive events in your own life may feel awkward, but stick with it for at least a week. It will get easier over time. There’s a good chance that this exercise will help alleviate your depression and make you feel happier every day.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Pełnia życia. Poznań: Media Rodzina.
“Gratitude Journal”
If you enjoy writing, and putting words on paper comes easily to you and feels natural, then keeping a gratitude journal is an exercise that could be beneficial for you.
Choose a time of day when you have a few minutes to reflect and look at life from a distance. This could be in the morning as soon as you wake up, at lunchtime, or in the evening before bed.
Every week at your chosen time, recall three to five things you’re grateful for, ranging from everyday matters (e.g., a repaired hair dryer; the fact that your husband remembered to do the shopping) to completely extraordinary ones (e.g., that your child started walking; that the night sky was exceptionally beautiful).
Don’t forget about the people who care for you and contribute to your well-being. It’s best to do this exercise about once a week, for example on Sunday evening.
Lyubomirsky, S. (2011). Wybierz szczęście. Warszawa: Laurum.
“The Journal of Your Best Possible Future”
Sit in a quiet, peaceful place and spend twenty to thirty minutes thinking about how you would like to live in a year, five years, or ten years.
Visualize your future where everything is exactly as you wish it to be. In this future, you have achieved all your goals because you gave it your all and worked hard for it.
Take a piece of paper and write down how you imagine such a future. This exercise will boost your optimism.
Lyubomirsky, S. (2011). Wybierz szczęście. Warszawa: Laurum.
“Acts of Kindness”
Do good. It doesn’t require extraordinary talent, a significant time commitment, or an investment of money.
Your acts of kindness don’t have to be grand or complicated. You can do good for others everywhere: at home, at work, in your immediate community.
People sometimes look very far afield in search of major causes they’d like to get involved in, when in fact there are plenty of things right under their noses that they can tackle immediately—small acts of kindness toward their spouse, children, coworkers, and friends.
Remember, however, that the benefits of showing kindness—especially improved well-being—are only achieved when we do good for others more frequently and more intensely than usual.
Lyubomirsky, S. (2011). Wybierz szczęście. Warszawa: Laurum.
“Letter of Gratitude”
Choose one important person who has brought about a significant positive change in your life and to whom you have never fully expressed your gratitude.
Write a letter of gratitude to this person within one week. Try to keep it to one page. Take your time composing it.
After one week, invite this person over or meet them at a place that’s comfortable for both of you. It’s important that you meet them in person; don’t convey the letter’s contents by mail, online, or over the phone. Don’t reveal the purpose of the meeting in advance—a simple “I want to meet with you” is enough.
Once you’re both seated comfortably, read your letter aloud and slowly. Emphasize the content of the letter with appropriate tone and facial expressions. Maintain eye contact with the recipient. When you’re finished, give him or her time to react. Recall together specific events that have made this person so important to you.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2005). Prawdziwe szczęście. Poznań: Media Rodzina.
“The 5 Stages of Forgiveness”
- Recall the hurt inflicted on you as objectively as you can. Do not think of the person who inflicted it as the embodiment of evil. Do not wallow in self-pity. As you visualize this event, take slow, deep, calming breaths.
- Try to see things from the perpetrator’s perspective and understand why they hurt you. It’s not easy, but come up with a plausible story that the perpetrator might tell if they were forced to explain themselves. Remember that:
- When others feel their lives are threatened, they may even hurt innocent people.
- People who attack others are usually themselves overcome by fear; they feel anxiety and pain.
- People often don’t think when they hurt others; they just lash out.
- Recall a situation in which you yourself hurt someone, felt guilty, and received forgiveness. It was a gift you received from another person because you needed it, and you were grateful for it. Granting someone forgiveness usually makes us feel better, but we do not offer this gift for our own benefit. Rather, we do it for the sake of the offender. Tell yourself that you can rise above resentment and the desire for revenge. However, if you give this gift reluctantly, it will not free you from bitterness.
- Commit to public forgiveness. Write a “forgiveness letter” to the person who wronged you; you can compose a poem or a song about it (remember, you don’t have to send what you’ve written to that person—that decision is yours, and simply writing the letter may be enough).
- Persevere in forgiveness. This is the final, difficult step. Memories of the event will likely come back to you. Forgiveness does not mean erasing painful memories; rather, it is a change in the conclusion or the lessons drawn from that memory. It is important to realize that memories do not mean a lack of forgiveness. Do not dwell on the event with a desire for revenge, nor immerse yourself in memories of it. Remind yourself that you have forgiven and read the notes you have written.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2005). Prawdziwe szczęście. Poznań: Media Rodzina.
“Signature Strengths”
One way to discover your strengths is to complete the free online VIA - Survey of Character Strengths questionnaire (after logging in to the website: Aauthentic Happiness Test Center).
You’ll need to set aside some time for this. The questionnaire contains 240 items that measure 24 character strengths (including your 5 most important ones, or signature strengths). The questionnaire is in English. Work is currently underway on a Polish adaptation. Nevertheless, it can give you some insight into your character strengths.
Once you know your strengths, reorganize your work and personal life so you can use these strengths in various ways every day. What aspects of your work or daily activities allow you to utilize your strengths? What aspects hinder their expression? How can you devote more energy to what you do best? What changes are necessary to make the most of your strengths every day?
Here is what generally characterizes each of our signature strengths:
- It creates a sense of authenticity and ownership (“This is who I really am”).
- When we express it, we feel excitement (especially at first).
- By using it, we make rapid progress.
- It sparks a desire to seek out new opportunities to use it.
- When using it, we feel invincible (“Nothing can stop me”).
- When using it, instead of exhaustion, we feel a surge of energy.
- Thanks to it, we create and carry out personal projects.
- By using it, we feel joy, passion, enthusiasm, and even ecstasy.
Fredrickson, B. L. (2011). Pozytywność. Poznań: Zysk I S-KA.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Pełnia życia. Poznań: Media Rodzina.
“Mindfulness Meditation”
The practice of mindfulness brings many beneficial effects, including a significant reduction in perceived stress, lower levels of anxiety and depressive symptoms, a stronger immune system, healthier skin, greater life satisfaction, faster recovery from illness, reduced pain perception, and more. The optimal frequency for meditation practice is at least 15–25 minutes once or twice a day. You can start with shorter sessions and then gradually extend them. Setting an alarm will help you avoid focusing on the time.
Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably and won’t be disturbed. When sitting in a chair, your feet should rest flat on the floor, the base of your spine should touch the backrest, and your back must be straight (you can also sit on a meditation cushion or in the Japanese sitting position with a straight spine). Place your hands on your knees, palms down (research indicates that this hand position fosters more positive emotions). You can also choose a different position that makes you feel alert and relaxed. Keep your eyes closed. If this bothers you, focus your gaze on a single spot on the floor in front of you or on another ordinary object, such as a candle.
Take a few deep breaths. Pay attention to what you feel. Where do you feel your breath? Is it in your nostrils? In your chest? In your abdomen? What is the sequence of sensations with each inhale and exhale? Now breathe normally. You no longer need to deepen your breath or influence it in any other way. Just breathe, but continue to observe what is happening with your breath. How do you feel each inhalation? How do you feel each exhalation? Experience each inhalation and exhalation with focus. Each one is yours—alive—here and now.
Incoming thoughts may absorb you. This is normal. Straying from the path of the present moment is almost inevitable. Expect this. Instead of burdening yourself with unnecessary negativity, simply notice that your attention has wandered and return to your breath. Experiment with the perspective of an observer of your thoughts and emotions. Gently recognize them. Assign the most neutral comment possible to each thought or feeling, such as “A thought is just coming up” or “This is something like anger.” Notice whether you can observe the distracting effect of your thoughts and feelings. See if you realize that they’re pulling you along. Be kind to yourself when you notice you’re getting distracted. Acknowledge that it happened and start over. You’ll likely have to start over many times. Every moment gives you a chance for a fresh start.
Remember that focusing on your breath is merely a tool to strengthen your ability to stay in the present moment. It’s not about how many breaths you can count during meditation, but whether you’ll be able to be present and mindful in the rest of your life.
Fredrickson, B. L. (2011). Pozytywność. Poznań: Zysk I S-KA.
PROFESSIONAL WELL-BEING
Here are some exercises that can help you figure out what you want to do professionally.
Exercise 1
First, think about and write down on a piece of paper the things you are capable of doing. They may relate to your professional life, but they can also be more general (in which case you’re drawing from a broader range of possibilities). From all these things, select and mark the ones you want to do.
Then narrow your selection down to what you really want to do. Finally, choose what you truly want to do—and that’s what you should pursue.
You can visualize this as four nested, concentric circles. The outermost circle will contain the possibilities available to you in general. The innermost circle will contain your deepest desires and dreams.
Ben-Shahar, T. (2009). W stronę szczęścia. Poznań: Dom Wydawniczy REBIS.
Exercise 2
Write down as many answers as possible to the questions below on a piece of paper. Take your time; give yourself space to add more later if something comes to mind. You can keep this sheet, return to it, and add to it.
Questions:
- What makes sense to me? Where do I find a sense of meaning and purpose?
- What brings me joy? What do I like to do?
- What are my natural talents? What am I good at?
After writing down your answers to the above questions, identify the overlapping answers across all three areas (you can visualize this as three intersecting circles—sets with a common intersection).
The ones that appear in all three areas will bring you the most happiness. Thanks to this exercise, you’ll discover what your life’s calling is and what daily activities would bring you the most joy.
It all starts with what I “want.” Doing anything with this kind of motivation helps overcome all the “I can’t,” “I’m not able to,” “I shouldn’t,” “I have to,” etc.
Ben-Shahar, T. (2009). W stronę szczęścia. Poznań: Dom Wydawniczy REBIS.